But I miss my IV-Blue Family.

I met really nice friends, but the anxiousness still kills me. The worries of being too tacky can really get on my nerves. I am pretty jealous with a past classmate of mine. Seeing her having fun and enjoying her block. Yet, me, I am still worried on how will I act.

Being in a new class with no idea who are my classmates can be really aggravating. Yet, can really be entertaining since I am able to know a new great deal of people whose life is totally different from mine. That is one factor that I am pretty nerve-racked about.

I am used to comprehend people by their actions, yet now, I have the difficulty of knowing what they really wanted to hear. My mind is boggling and I wondered every time I will talk what will I say. I am used in a group where I can say I want to say and share to them my interests knowing that they are to support me all the way.

Damn, how I wish I knew someone from my block before the classes and got to know her. At least, I would be able to share some of my interest and how childish I can be.

To be honest I miss Esther, the most. Because she is the one who never gets annoyed but what I have to say. And I can talk openly to her. I know she would understand. I also miss Eden and Josemhe. They have been my companions whenever there is an event in college, but crap, I cannot talk to them because of the difference in schedules. I miss Richfel, Jenica and Lorlee, whom I cannot go on the day without talking to them.

Crap, I should stop talking about them. My eyes would be welled up with tears. Being a tear jerk isn't a really nice job. Your eyes just involuntarily cries, without no rational reason.

Anyway, it is still start of the class. It hasn't been a week yet, either. There's still loads of days where I can talk more openly to my new friends. And I hope the awkward feeling that I bear inside of me would be vanquished. And I want it to be as soon as possible. Getting acquianted with people can be very entertaining and sometimes drastic. And I need to grow up and swallow my pride. Fearing of something won't really be a good friend of mine, so I need to step up to the challenge.

I am never been a pessimistic, and now, I am starting to be one. What the hell.